Lost in a time warp

This made me laugh until I cried tonight:

"My neighbor saw the dog out and freaked because he's never out. He called the police. The police entered the house (with my neighbor) and searched to make sure I wasn't dead somewhere. I wasn't, but my vibrator was out on the bedside table where I left it... I was embarrassed."

Just say it's the dog's and he ran out to get new batteries.

(courtesy DL W&W sidebar)